I think there's a temptation to try to re-write major life events like this in our own image. I'm finding in the past 24 hours that Haiti seemed to be the theme of everything. The fortune cookie at lunch. Driving, where I had the urge to edge my car as close to or even slightly over the centre line so as to simulate the experience of traffic in Haiti where swerving for on-coming cars, or being swerved around is the norm (don't worry! I only thought about it). And every song on the radio seemed somehow to be about Haiti:

"you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave"

"I can see your halo, I pray you won't fade away"

"If I could change the world..."

"Baby just give me one reason, and I'll turn right back around"

This little mental game is greatly helped by the fact that the word "Haiti" can easily be substituted for the word "baby". In fact Beyonce did record a version of her Halo song where she did exactly that, and this is getting quite a bit of airplay in-country.

I'm home. Which is always nice, but I somehow feel a little bit off balance, like I'm not sure where I should be. I need to think about Haiti a bit and figure out what is next. President Preval announced this week that clearing the rubble from Port au Prince would take a 1000 days. So there will be lots of opportunities in lots of different sectors. Right now I need to sleep. Now that I'm home, I probably won't blog everyday, but I'll keep you posted on what might happen next.

Sometimes, I'm a bit down on the UN. But I am posting this courtesy of free UN internet while waiting for a free UN flight from Port au Prince to the Dominican Republic. We have also benefited from the UN cluster system which has been a big help in getting us up to speed on what is happening, who's doing what-where, and being able to network for partners and donors. The system is far from perfect as any one here will openly admit, and the press is eager to point out.

I think in some previous post, I've mentioned that the migration to rural zones is causing a huge increase in household size. We've conducted two surveys of the family situation, one around the end of January, and one last week. At the end of January, the average family size was around 8 members an increase from the pre-earthquake average of around 6 members. As of last week average family size was 10 members per household, with many families having 15 or 20. I heard of one family in a small town called Trouin with 32 people living under one roof. The situation is, as they say, dynamic, and complicated. We are doing our best to track the trends while at the same time trying to get help to these same families as best we can. Pictured below is a small 'settlement' in Trouin where everyone is crowded under plastic tarps. The last time I visited this camp 3 weeks ago, it was much more adhoc. Now it looks like people are settling in for the long haul.

I've got to say, I'm proud to be part of this team here of our staff that are responding to this situation. At least I am at the moment--other moments I feel paralyzed with frustration, so I may as well post now.

One of our staff just came down from the border area on motorcycle with a handful of household surveys. These surveys are very short, one page only, and only a handful of households were interviewed, 25 in the case of the border. But all this still takes time, and if you knew the road conditions and the separation of the communities in that area, you would know that even this small amount is no mean feat. On top of that this technician had tire puncture on the way, and managed to get the bike here on partial pressure. On top of that, this same technician has the responsibility to price out and buy seed stock for our upcoming emergency seed distribution, so he really had zero time in which to conduct these surveys. So now I have data to enter. Much needed data which can help us make decisions about what to do and how to do it.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and state outright that this is the biggest humanitarian crisis since Rwanda. The number of fatalities is not quite as high, somewhere in the range of 200000, but the number injured or displaced is in the millions. The official number affected is around 3 million, but if you count the fact that all those displaced people are crowding back into the rural homes of their parents, relatives, or friends, I would hazard to say that there is hardly a family in the country that is not affected. Not to mention the uncounted that are fleeing to the Dominican Republic, the US, Canada, and other places. I would go even further to say that if you are reading this blog post, this event has also impacted you in some way. It is really amazing, the way the global community has responded to this event, giving financially, volunteering, sending materials, planes, relief experts, etc. I have even noticed that Google has now added Haitian Creole to their list of languages on their Translate tool. No doubt this is also a response to the earthquake.

That is one (of several things) that contrasts this event from Rwanda. Maybe we all trying to make up for our lack of response to Rwanda. I think Bill Clinton has admitted as much with respect to his own record. I don't think this is a chance to make up for past sins. Acting out of guilt usually goes no where good in my experience, but this may be a chance to learn from past mistacks, mistakes.

I figured I should get at least one shot of the hundreds of flying machines of every description which are passing overhead all the time. Where I am staying is just a km or two from the airport, so I get to see lots of craft taking off and landing. The volume has diminished noticeably lately but there is still lots. The first week I was here, there were planes taking off every 2 to 3 minutes. They must have had some pretty stressed out air traffic controllers over there. All the UN operations are also located at least temporarily at the Logistics Base at the airport (everyone in the know calls it the "log base", there's an abbreviation for everything). It is not really the ideal situation, since every meeting I have attended has to observe several obligatory moments of 'silence', while some enormous military transport plane rumbles overhead. Those things seem to me like rockets with wings. The ground shakes and you wonder if it's a plane or a tremor. In fact the other day a helicopter flew a little too low over a neighbourhood, and a bunch of school children mistook it for an earthquake and stampeded out of the building resulting in several minor injuries. Unfortunate, I guess, but one has to look at the larger picture which is all this air transport is the lifeblood of the country right now. In a way it makes me feel good to know that all that military might can save lives instead of taking them.

I am all for vegetarianism. I am not a vegetarian myself, but do try to reduce my meat intake as I believe our excessive consumption of meat in North America is contributing to the drain on our already dwindling global resources. But, on the other hand, small scale meat production may actually contribute to better use of our resource base. Take the chickens below. Free-ranging, eating insects, worms, etc, and therefore capitalizing on a resource that might otherwise not be exploited. At the same time they are reducing pest pressure on crops and vegetables in the garden, and contributing valuable nitrogen and other nutrients to the soil, increasing garden production. Not to mention the eggs taste way better. Such as system may not be seen as efficient if measured on a output/unit of purchased inputs type evaluation, but in terms of overall best use of all available resources, creating a system which best mimics nature, and is stable over the long term it wins in every category.

I heard today that during yesterday's vigil of fasting and prayer, some people saw a hand with a cross while looking up at the sun. This is just one of the many crazy things that I have heard but can't confirm, like:

-the guy that was buried for 25 days and says he survived because someone kept bringing water to him

-that there may be plans to distribute food aid for more than a year

-that there may be plans to make Haiti a UN protectorate

-that I am going home on the 17th

I just wandered across the street, which is completely dark since there is no electricity at the moment, to the little hole in the wall across the street with the faint LED light to guide me, where I found a couple of slightly cold beers. 35 Haitian gourdes, which is about 88 cents US.

Today has been declared by the government as a national day of prayer and fasting. It is a month since the quake and churches across the country are holding services all morning to remember the victims and reflect. According to government reports, the country has lost 25% of leadership and intellectuals. From where I sit at my laptop I can hear at least a couple of different services going on with a lot of singing and praying. Apparently in one part of the city, a fasting and prayer vigil and a food distribution were planned for the same location, causing confusion and consternation.

So the staff here predicted weeks ago, soon after the earthquake, that people would start using wood to build their homes instead of concrete. Wood is now seen as a more earthquake resistant material, and we and others have been concerned about the increased pressure on the already severely degraded tree resources. So, here, is the first example I have seen, in the neighbourhood where I am staying. I should say, if you haven't already figured it out, that this is what would be considered a middle class neighbourhood, where people actually have the means to make repairs to their homes.

One of the challenges of the field we work in is the weather. Rain-fed agriculture is totally dependent on, well, rain. And the rain waits for no one. And in the particular part of Haiti where we are planning our emergency reponse project, the rain could start any day now. In fact the other night there was a brief shower which hardly wet the ground, but is a sign of things to come. Fortunately, through our community partners, we already have a pretty decent seedling bank which was being prepared for the upcoming season before the earthquake. The inventory of these seedlings is being conducted this week, but our internal tree seedling capacity will be well over 100,000. We will augment this with a seedling purchase from a large commercial nursery in Port au Prince. The staff has divided up into teams to handle each of the main aspects of our emergency response, so we have as Seeds and Tools committee, a Soil Conservation committee, a Reforestation committee, a Road Repair committee, and a Food Distribution committee. Each committee is deploying to get us ready for what promises to be our most hectic season ever. Now, if only the funding would coincide with the weather...

If you are wondering what happens to all those little pieces of houses, here you go. Slowly but surely neighbourhood roads are getting filled up with crushed block, just about the perfect size to break the bead on a tire rim. I am eagerly looking forward to our first tire change.

I meant to post this shot a million years ago. By that I mean last week. This is the Episcopal church in Cheridant, close to our office. I have attended many services here, and one wedding.

So our rural food distribution programme is taking a bit of a turn. Our country director, Guy, received a text message from one of the field staff this morning saying that others in the communities where we are distributing food are wanting to receive emergency rations as well. Of course we would love to do this, but we have limited resources and can only provide for so many, and that for a limited time. I hope this doesn't get ugly like it has in the urban areas. I did hear about a church programme which airlifted in some food and other supplies to a community called Cheridant, where our office happens to be located. Apparently the helicopter was mobbed and less than half the supplies actually got to the church organizers.

Before all this, we had already decided to keep our food distribution short, and transition to an emergency employment program as quickly as possible. This accomplishes several things:

a) employment is more dignified that food handouts

b) it gets urgently needed cash into the communities with which they can buy food, probably cheaper than we can distribute

c) it is easier (and at this point probably safer) to transport and distribute cash than food at least in rural areas

d) we can have a lasting effect because the employment will apply soil conservation techniques and plant trees

The big problem now is that the season for all this work is already upon us, and we still don't have all the funding to get it done. But the window of opportunity is very small, and missing it would be tragic on more than one level. Pulling this off will not be easy to say the least, but all our staff in Haiti and the US are scrambling to make this happen.

I felt so bad yesterday afternoon. We were out trying to hunt down the various inputs we need for our upcoming emergency employment and farm input distribution program. More on that later, but while in the vehicle, a man came up to the window and greeted me politely. Luther was his name, and he proceeded to explain how he was looking for work and described the skills he had as a teacher, and his training in sociology. Not wanting to seem rude, I explained a bit about our program, and then he handed me his resume, of which he had several copies in a folder he was carrying. On further questioning, I discovered that the school he had been teaching at had been destroyed. I didn't have the heart to ask, but I am certain he has a family to feed as well. The thing that was so heart-wrenching to me, is that he didn't come up to the window and launch into an aggressive plea about how he had no job, and needed to feed his family; he was very professional in his approach, and carried himself with dignity, but I don't know, something in his eyes or voice told me that this man was desperate. What's worse is that I had to turn him away with no hope of a job, and one precious resume less than when he started.

Wall graffiti a few blocks from where Luther handed me his resume

I don't know about officially, but I can for sure see that the process of rebuilding has already begun. Or perhaps I should say the process of demolition. Below you will see a photo from across the street where workers are painstakingly tearing apart a house by breaking it down with mallets. At various times I can hear mallet pounding in other parts of the neighbourhood, and I know that driving through PaP I have seen this taking place in a number of locations. Of course some of the big and important buildings are being taken down with cranes and dozers, but at the micro-level, houses are slowly being turned into little bits of rock. It seems to me that the most likely outcome of all this is that people will rebuild their houses using the same construction techniques that have always been used leaving folks just as vulnerable as before.

I have a few minutes here, so I'm going to blog like crazy. Make up for my sins of omission. I've got a cup of 2 day old coffee which I re-heated and is thick as tar (and probably just as good for you).

What I felt just now was definitely no dream. Pretty much everyone in the neighbourhood jumped up and headed for open space. There was a very faint, deep rumbling sound, and visible vibration.

I dreamed about a tremor last night. I actually think it was a real tremor, but can't be sure. Or maybe it was just one of those huge military cargo planes taking off from the airport, which is only a few km from here.

You know what else is funny? The neighbours are totally non-chalant about it. Other than the initial panic of getting loved ones out of the line of fire. I was just talking to another neighbour who was saying, "yeah, well, the thieves are still around my house somewhere, the police haven't caught them yet." Sort of relating it like you would describe how one of the neighbours hadn't cut their grass recently. I guess too many near death experiences makes one jaded about something as minor as an armed police chase by your house.

You know what's funny? Literally 2 seconds before those shots were fired I was looking at my airline info, trying to figure out my flight out of the country. Now it makes me feel kind of weird about leaving. Like I'd be cutting and running. I wouldn't be, you know. Seriously. Stop hassling me about it already!

Well, that's not something you see everyday: a Haitian police officer in a flak jacket with a pump action shot gun just ran by the front of the house where I am staying. This after I heard 3 or 4 shots fired somewhere behind the house. One of the neighbours told me they were chasing down a thug of somekind. People were out calling their kids inside and getting a little panicky, but that seems to have subsided. Neighbours were directing the officer on which way they thought the bad guy had gone.

Btw, this is supposed to be one of the more peaceful neighbourhoods.

No pictures of this one, sorry.

So there's electricity again in Croix des Bouquets. This is a town or suburb of Port au Prince, and where I am staying for the time being. I had heard that there would be no electricity for months. But, street lights are on, and the fridge is running in the house where I am staying. Apparently in other parts of Port au Prince, there are so many power lines down, that they can't turn the system on for fear of mass electrocutions. I guess those are the parts that will take months to get current. Seeing lights on, and hearing a fridge humming is lulling me into a false sense of normalcy. Fortunately I was told by one aid worker today that she is working from 5am to 12pm everyday. Knowing this should keep my illusions in check. Plus I was complaining about 6 am to 10 pm days

Lights on--note the gecko to the right: how do they stay upside down like that?

I have to say I love my new tent. Sets up and breaks down easily. I can do it with my eyes closed, which is important since I'm mostly setting it up in the dark. It is easy to get in and out of, and packs small and light. One qualification is that it hasn't rained yet, so I don't know about the water-proofness.

In any case, I highly approve so far. So, MSR, if you are looking for an endorsement: Haiti emergency response approved, in exchange for a donation of shelter materials of some kind, give my office a call: 858-274-3718.

The Floresta Base Camp:

The neighbours:

As we bounced our way down the road out of our project tonight in our pickup, on the way back to Port au Prince, I was reminded of a time, a long time ago, when I worked for another organization called ECHO (www.echonet.org--great organization, I highly recommend their internship programme if you are a recent university grad, and thinking about ag. development). I remember bouncing down a similar Haitian road, albeit in a different part of the country, and the group of us somehow deriving our own lyrics for the John Denver song, "500 miles". I don't know if you're familiar with the song, but our version was,"5 Haitian miles, 5 Haitian miles, Lord I'm 5 Haitian miles away from home. Lord I'm one, Lord I'm two, Lord I'm three, Lord I'm four, Lord I'm five Haitian miles away from home..." Tonight this still struck me as very funny as my shoulders head, and buttocks were constantly assaulted by various parts of the truck.

One thing that gives me a great deal of hope is the way the Dominican Republic is responding to this crisis. They were certainly the first country to respond with direct aid, and have greatly assisted with the flow of goods into Haiti, as well as continuing to supply materials and food aid. One of my colleagues in the DR was telling me how Dominican women were wet-nursing Haitian babies who were arriving in the DR after the quake.

Our experience working across the border has shown us that the relationship between the DR and Haiti is close but delicate, and can be both hostile and violent at times. Is this event possibly a catalyst for bringing the two countries closer together? The aftermath of the quake presents so many opportunities for change. It is an historic moment for sure, and perhaps will in hindsight be best described by the words of Charles Dickens: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

See below a Dominican transport truck carrying food aid:

So yesterday, somehow, I ended up slinging bags of rice anyways. I decided to take a day away from the proposal writing stuff and follow our food distribution crew with my camera, ask some questions, collect some info etc. On this particular trip, a truck full of rice needed to be off-loaded at our office in Gran Goave by hand. So far we've moved almost 7 metric tonnes of rice to communities in our project areas where people from the city are migrating back to their families out of desperation. Almost all families have additional mouths to feed, and some families have doubled in size. One of our staff was telling me of a family in Trouin which now has 32 people. The distributions have so far been orderly, and peaceful, and without military escort. This I suppose is partly because it is a rural area, but also I think because we have a long standing relationship with these communties and organized groups in each area.

This morning around 5 am the dog decided to pee on my tent. So I woke up to something dribbling on my forehead. I chased the dog around for a while in the dark, and then tried to clean up the tent, and sleeping bag as best I could.

Today will be the first day of our food distribution to the rural areas where we work. The majority of food aid at the moment is focussed on urban zones destroyed by the quake, and most of that is staying in Port au Prince. But our technicians did a rapid assessment and we have data that indicates that family sizes are increasing by 40%. This means the average household was between 5-6 members before and now is well 8-9 members. In areas near the border with the DR, household size has almost doubled. Sunday night our credit director and his family worked late into the evening preparing the vouchers which we will be using to help organize the food distribution.